HARRY TENNANT

There is a delight in walking with someone we love. The very act of walking seems to express our fellowship and understanding. Lovers walk hand in hand; friends in close companionship; families in unity; and ecclesias in common purpose.

As the human body is exercised in all its parts by the motion of walking, so relationships are expressed by the association of taking steps together. It is for this reason that the question is asked: “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3).

Two ideas lie behind those words. Can two walk together unless they have made an appointment to do so? And, can two walk together unless they have a common purpose? To do otherwise is to walk contrary to one another, as in a crowded thoroughfare, with people jostling as they come from opposite directions and make for different places.

How can we make sure that we walk together and not contrary to one another? Families resort to quarrelling, marriages end in shipwreck, and friendships break up, when togetherness is replaced by contrariness. How do we avoid this? It is not an academic question, it is the very essence of daily living.

The Bible tells us how, and we neglect its advice at our peril. In the first place, we chose to walk with God. Read these scriptures carefully and absorb their straightforward teaching:

Genesis 17:1: “I am the Almighty God; walk before Me, and be thou perfect”.

2 Chronicles 6:14: “God . . . Which keepest covenant, and shewest mercy unto Thy servants, that walk before Thee with all their hearts”.

2 Chronicles 6:16: “so that thy children take heed to their way to walk in My law, as thou hast walked before Me”.

Micah 6:8: “He hath shewed thee, Ο man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”.

The secret of a harmonious life is to walk before God, to walk with God, to walk in His law, in humility and with all our hearts. In other words, our first priority is to learn how to walk with God so that we may make wise choices when walking with others. We have to grasp how to walk with our Father in order to form binding relationships with others with whom we might walk.

For example, how can a man be walking with God when he sets out to choose a wife who does not? Such a man has chosen in this respect to walk contrary to God, however he cares to express what he is doing. For a husband and wife to walk together they must each be walking with God. Anything less than this has the seeds of spiritual weakening and compromise. Therefore we are commanded to marry “only in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39).

All of us understand how easy it is to fall in love, and to do so with someone who is not of our ecclesial family. But it is wiser and right to end the relationship, if the loved one is not responding to the Truth, than to go ahead and find ourselves walking contrary to one another, at least in the vital matters of life. And what of the children of our marriage? With whom are they to walk in step? The lessons are clear and the right way is plain and evident.

God is not wishing to make things difficult for us. He is showing us the way to the greatest contentment and happiness of mind, both now and in the future, by being obedient first to Him. For those who come into the Truth without their partners after their marriage the position is different. God teaches us (1 Cor. 7) to be faithful to our marriage vows, and to seek the conversion of our partner by our exemplary behaviour (see 1 Pet. 3:1).

It is by no means a foregone conclusion that by seeking a companion in the Truth we are sure to have a successful marriage. For this reason we must take time to develop our relationship in order to discover whether we are truly two people who can walk together. A golden rule, oft repeated, when exploring the real worth of such a friendship is to talk, talk, talk and to listen, listen, listen. Marriage is a marriage of minds, and togetherness in marriage demands total commitment of the whole mind of each of us in Christ to our life together.

We need to see each other in action in our home backgrounds, in the ecclesia, and in life in general in the world around us, so that we might see whether our interests, desires, ways of doing things and our personalities are such that we will be able to produce togetherness, and not simply lead separate lives within the marriage. These things take time to evaluate, and it is time well spent. So many people, when their marriage breaks down, offer as an explanation that they had no idea that their partner ‘was like that’. This shows a marked lack of time and thoroughness in making the choice in the first place. It is far better to take time, to pray, and to ask the simple question: Can I imagine myself living with him (her) in every circumstance, including having and bringing up children, for the rest of my life?

There is a great deal of pleasure, some of it the sheer joy of anticipating the days to come, when we have agreed to be married and have fixed the day. We are now together in a very real sense, and much of our behaviour is as though we were one. It is common enough in the world around us to regard any friendship between the sexes as granting the opportunity for intimate relationships.

We might ourselves be tempted to think that, having promised to marry, we are free to give ourselves totally to one another as one flesh. This is not so, and must not be so. Whatever other people might say, sometimes lamentably someone ‘in the Truth’, God tells us that it is husband and wife who become one flesh, and only husband and wife. The wedding day should see us for the first time as wholly and altogether one. God has reserved that joy for that time, otherwise what is unique about the day?

The true family is a unit. It is not three, four or more people living separate lives that happen to touch now and again. The husband is responsible for the home and the principles by which it is run. As there is one God, so He has appointed one person, the man, to be the head of the house; and God will hold him responsible for the discharge of that duty. The woman brings her grace, her wonderful instinct for home building, her intuitive support of and dependency upon her husband, and the strength of her loyalty to the home and family.

The godly rules of the house are to be observed despite the disruptive nature of modern living. The unity of the home should not be left to the mercy of the television programmes, and the family meal should not be fragmented by the convenience of microwave cooking. Meal times should be times of prayer together in thankfulness for God’s unfailing provision of daily food; and we should gratefully assemble around the bounty of His Word in the daily readings together.

The counsel given by God as we read is for the family as a family and for each member as an individual. Families who fail to read together are wide open to the world’s disruptive and deadly influences. Quiet, simple reading by each member in turn is one of the most binding forces available to us. Bible reading should not be a chore, an onerous duty, but a joyous privilege with great rewards. Many a time one discovers in homes where trouble arises, or the children are allowed to go their own ways, that it is the Word of God that has been first neglected.

It has been said that children should be given total freedom of choice. This accords well with the modern outlook on the rights of adults and children to live their own lives. Is that how our homes should be run? Surely, it is blindingly clear that to do so involves the renunciation of his God-given responsibilities by the husband, and sorrow of heart for the mother, whose instinct is to preserve the oneness of the home.

Our children must be taught the Truth. To do otherwise is to say that the child knows better than God should he reject the faith. True teaching does not involve brainwashing or the destruction of the child’s will. True instruction comprises the godly example of both parents, and the assured setting forth of what God has told us and requires of us, in a way that is both interesting and inviting.

God commanded Israel to teach their children diligently (the word means to whet, to sharpen, as though the Word of God gives an edge to the mind that helps it to discern good and evil; cf. Heb. 4:12), and to talk of the Word of God in the house, outside it, at bedtime and in the morning. God’s counsel was to become second nature to them. By that means the house would be one. No one would be ‘doing his own thing’ out of his deceitful heart or simply because ‘he felt like it’. This is true discipline. Lack of discipline produces unhappiness for the parents, uncertainty and absence of a sense of direction for the children; and God, Who gave us the charge, is dishonoured.

In partnership with the Word, prayer is the powerhouse of a godly life. Prayer should be evident in the home. Our giving of thanks at table should not be matter-of-fact, but rather a ready response to our Father and a time when, as occasion allows, our prayers reach beyond our family circle and embrace our guests, or those who come to mind that day. Children should be taught and helped to pray. Remember the joy of Jesus when he saw “the children crying in the temple, and saying, Hosanna to the son of David” (Mt. 21:15). We are not making ‘little Christadelphians’ out of our children, but rather showing them how to become disciples of the Lord.

Husband and wife will need to have their individual prayers throughout the day. Additionally, it is good to have a joint prayer at the end of the day’s events to bring a united prayer to our heavenly Father.

The ecclesia should be a corporate expression of the body of Christ. All of the various parts should work in the harmony of a common purpose, even as the members of the human body unfailingly serve and are served by the whole. We are not members of a club which, whilst having a limited purpose, allows its members to lead widely diverse lives. Our lives are those of disciples, and ecclesial life is a fellowship of disciples.

Christ is the head, and the ecclesia should knit together in him. Our many individual personalities should be harnessed to the ecclesial chariot. We should not form groups within the group, nor should we seek to dominate our brethren. Service is the key word, and service means submission.

Sometimes ecclesial harmony is broken up by subversive movements within the fellowship, or by some who, though belonging to the ecclesia, are in fact being disloyal to its integrity either by condemning others (as though they had that right) or by bringing their own brand of ‘how it should be done’, beyond or outside of what we have all committed ourselves to in the common faith we hold and the common life we have promised to lead.

Our togetherness is known as fellowship, and that rests on the apostles’ doctrine, the breaking of bread and prayers, and is all subsumed into our fellowship with the Father and His Son. This is an inexpressibly precious association, and we should give it our unstinting aid in every duty that falls to us and in the mutual care one of another. Newly baptized members should be cherished and fed as new children are in the human family; the experienced band of mature brethren and sisters should provide the meat and muscle of the ecclesia, and the older ones by their spiritual dignity and sound faith should be an assurance to all in their constancy and reliability.

It is our privilege and bounden duty to shed abroad the light of the gospel from the ecclesia to the world around us. Multitudes of people are as sheep without a shepherd, and we have the means to make known the saving comfort of the Truth and the warmth of the ecclesial fold. These may indeed be the last days in which to preach.

Our individual, family and ecclesial journeys will come to an end. Death might take us with our generation or unexpectedly young, or the Lord himself might announce the end of our pilgrimage by his appearing. That will be the completion of the account, the time when we await the Lord’s assessment of our togetherness—not of our togetherness with our wife and family, nor with the ecclesia to which we belong, but with him.

How close have we been to the Master? How much have we encouraged others to be so? Or has our togetherness been with the world in which we live and will now be seen for the vanity it really is? Will our response to “The Master is come and calleth for thee”, be, “O Lord, not now, I am unprepared”? Or, “At last, we have waited for him and will be glad and rejoice in his salvation”?

The Lord does not wish to lose us; he is the only one who sticks closer than a brother. If we truly wish to be “glorified together” with him (Rom. 8:17) we must renounce our self-will, or, if such be our hearts, cast away our doubts or despair and seek his unwavering aid. His togetherness is beyond doubt:

“I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Heb. 13:5).